I'm super happy for him and excited for him. The opportunity is one he shouldn't pass up. But I'm sad too. We're only a new relationship but I really like him. We're super geeky together, and we just have fun. We went to Thorpe Park on Monday and it was awesome.
But I never want to be the person who stops someone from doing something. Especially when this could make his career.
I've been in England for 19 months now. And right now I sort of feel like I've wasted the opportunity.
Today I'm stressing over money. Credit Card debt, student loans and wondering if I'll be able to afford a flight back. I want to come back so bad. I'm going home in October but Sharon wants me to come back, and I love love love Guildford, but once I'm home I'm worried I'll get swallowed by the lack of money and just end up staying in NZ.
I need to save my butt off. But I'm supposed to be going to Turkey in September, which is hella expensive. I feel like I should forgo that trip so I will have the funds, but if I do and then don't come back I'll kick myself. It's almost £700 though!
I'm going to glasto again, but that doesn't make me feel guilty because I'm volunteering so I'll get my £350 back. That's like 1/2 my flight.
I could feasibly save the money I need, but I'd have no life, I'd not be able to travel, I'd probably be miserable.
new girl at work is in hospital and we have just been told she's bulimic. she eats loads and is super skinny and me and other work mate have discussed it. we all live together so we thought we'd notice. and you can smell vomit and stuff. so i dunno. it's a weird situation. she's only been here for like 2 weeks too. lovely girl. it's all i can think about because i feel like i should have noticed.
Went out with the girls last night and texted S to see if he wanted to join. He did. And he came back to mine, and stayed over. Nothing really happened. We were both quite drunk. But it was nice. Lots of making out. :D:D:D
So. There's a new girl at work. Who is lovely. Not saying I don't like her. But my boss was like "she's determined. She can achieve stuff if she puts her mind to it. She lot 22kg before she came here"
And I'm all "wow, great" And that is great. But I dunno. She's gone and told everyone, which is cool, inspirational and crap, but I could turn around and say "I lost 15kg. Is that cool too?" But I dunno. It wasn't in the last year, which hers was.
Maybe I'm just not comfortable with celebrating weight loss. I don't really want people to be all "congrats, that's awesome" to me. Maybe because I'm happy/comfortable as I am now, or that I wish the focus was more on health rather than weight/size.
I feel like I'm being bitchy. But I don't wanna take anything away from her hard work.